ns,
senior people are not available to give guidance. The good news is that guidance can come from all
levels. When I first joined Facebook, one of my biggest challenges was setting up the necessary
business processes without harming the freewheeling culture. The company operated by moving
quickly and tolerating mistakes, and lots of people were nervous that I would not just ruin the party,
but squash innovation. Naomi Gleit had joined Facebook right out of college several years earlier. As
one of Facebook’s earliest employees, she had a deep understanding of how the company worked.
Naomi and I became close. I bet most people, including Naomi herself, probably assumed that I was
mentoring her. But the truth is she mentored me. She helped me implement the changes that needed to
be made and jumped in to stop me from getting things wrong. Naomi always told me the truth, even if
she thought it would be hard for me to hear. She still does this for me today.

Peers can also mentor and sponsor one another. There is a saying that “all advice is
autobiographical.” Friends at the same stage of their careers may actually provide more current and
useful counsel. Several of my older mentors advised me against taking a job at Google in 2001. Yet
almost all my peers understood the potential of Silicon Valley. Peers are also in the trenches and may
understand problems that superiors do not, especially when those problems are generated by superiors
in the first place.

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As an associate at McKinsey & Company, my first assignment was on a team that consisted of a
male senior engagement manager (SEM) and two other male associates, Abe Wu and Derek Holley.
When the SEM wanted to talk to Abe or Derek, he would walk over to their desks. When he wanted to
talk to me, he would sit at his desk and shout, “Sandberg, get over here!” with the tone one might use
to call a child or, even worse, a dog. It made me cringe every time. I never said anything, but one day
Abe and Derek started calling each other “Sandberg” in that same loud voice. The self-absorbed SEM
never seemed to notice. They kept it up. When having too many Sandbergs got confusing, they
decided we needed to differentiate. Abe started calling himself “Asian Sandberg,” Derek dubbed
himself “good-looking Sandberg,” and I became “Sandberg Sandberg.” My colleagues turned an
awful situation into one where I felt protected. They stood up for me and made me laugh. They were
the best mentors I could have had.
││思││兔││文││檔││共││享││與││在││線││閱││讀││
Since when it rains, it pours, on that same project, the senior client leader wanted to fix me up with
his son. He declared this intention in front of his team over and over. I knew he meant it as a
compliment, but it undermined my professional authority. How could I get my clients to take me
seriously if their boss was constantly reminding everyone that I was his son’s age—oh, and that I
should date him? One day, I gathered my courage and asked to speak to him in private. I told him
(nicely) that I did not think it was appropriate for him to keep bringing up his son. He laughed it off
and kept doing it.

Having tried to deal with the situation myself, I went to my manager—the same “Sandberg”-
shouting SEM. He listened to my complaint and then told me that I should think about what I was
“doing to send these signals.” Yup, it was my fault. I told the two other Sandbergs, who were
outraged. They encouraged me to go over the SEM’s head and talk to the senior partner, Robert
Taylor. Robert understood my discomfort immediately. He explained that sometimes those of