, people react far more negatively.

There is a saying, “Think globally, act locally.” When negotiating, “Think personally, act
communally.” I have advised many women to preface negotiations by explaining that they know that
women often get paid less than men so they are going to negotiate rather than accept the original offer.
By doing so, women position themselves as connected to a group and not just out for themselves; in
effect, they are negotiating for all women. And as silly as it sounds, pronouns matter. Whenever
possible, women should substitute “we” for “I.” A woman’s request will be better received if she
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asserts, “We had a great year,” as opposed to “I had a great year.”

But a communal approach is not enough. According to Professor Bowles, the second thing women
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must do is provide a legitimate explanation for the negotiation . Men don’t have to legitimize their
negotiations; they are expected to look out for themselves. Women, however, have to justify their
requests. One way of doing this is to suggest that someone more senior encouraged the negotiation
(“My manager suggested I talk with you about my compensation”) or to cite industry standards (“My
understanding is that jobs that involve this level of responsibility are compensated in this range”).
Still, every negotiation is unique, so women must adjust their approach accordingly.

Telling a current employer about an offer from another company is a common tactic but works for
men more easily than for women. Men are allowed to be focused on their own achievements, while
loyalty is expected from women. Also, just being nice is not a winning strategy. Nice sends a message
that the woman is willing to sacrifice pay to be liked by others. This is why a woman needs to
combine niceness with insistence, a style that Mary Sue Coleman, president of the University of

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Michigan, calls “relentlessly pleasant.” This method requires smiling frequently, expressing
appreciation and concern, invoking common interests, emphasizing larger goals, and approaching the
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negotiation as solving a problem as opposed to taking a critical stance. Most negotiations involve
drawn-out, successive moves, so women need to stay focused … and smile.
のの文の檔の共の享の與の在の線の閱の讀の
No wonder women don’t negotiate as much as men. It’s like trying to cross a minefield backward in
high heels. So what should we do? Should we play by the rules that others created? Should we figure
out a way to put on a friendly expression while not being too nice, displaying the right levels of
loyalty and using “we” language? I understand the paradox of advising women to change the world by
adhering to biased rules and expectations. I know it is not a perfect answer but a means to a desirable
end. It is also true, as any good negotiator knows, that having a better understanding of the other side
leads to a superior outcome. So at the very least, women can enter these negotiations with the
knowledge that showing concern for the common good, even as they negotiate for themselves, will
strengthen their position.

In addition, there are huge benefits to communal effort in and of itself. By definition, all
organizations consist of people working together. Focusing on the team leads to better results for the
simple r