ren’s play. Sheryl supervised adults as well. When our parents went away on
vacation, our grandparents used to babysit. Before our parents left, Sheryl protested, ‘Now I have to
take care of David and Michelle and Grandma and Grandpa too. It’s not fair!’ ” Everyone laughed
even louder.

I laughed too, but there is still some part of me that feels it was unseemly for a little girl to be
thought of as so … domineering. Cringe.

From a very early age, boys are encouraged to take charge and offer their opinions. Teachers
interact more with boys, call on them more frequently, and ask them more questions. Boys are also
more likely to call out answers, and when they do, teachers usually listen to them. When girls call out,
teachers often scold them for breaking the rules and remind them to raise their hands if they want to
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speak.

I was recently reminded that these patterns persist even when we are all grown up. Not long ago, at
a small dinner with other business executives, the guest of honor spoke the entire time without taking
a breath. This meant that the only way to ask a question or make an observation was to interrupt.
Three or four men jumped in, and the guest politely answered their questions before resuming his
lecture. At one point, I tried to add something to the conversation and he barked, “Let me finish! You
people are not good at listening!” Eventually, a few more men interjected and he allowed it. Then the

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only other female executive at the dinner decided to speak up—and he did it again! He chastised her
for interrupting. After the meal, one of the male CEOs pulled me aside to say that he had noticed that
only the women had been silenced. He told me he empathized, because as a Hispanic, he has been
treated like this many times.

The danger goes beyond authority figures silencing female voices. Young women internalize
societal cues about what defines “appropriate” behavior and, in turn, silence themselves. They are
rewarded for being “pretty like Mommy” and encouraged to be nurturing like Mommy too. The album
Free to Be … You and Me was released in 1972 and became a staple of my childhood. My favorite
song, “William’s Doll,” is about a five-year-old boy who begs his reluctant father to buy him a
traditional girl’s toy. Almost forty years later, the toy industry remains riddled with stereotypes. Right ░本░作░品░由░░網░提░供░下░載░與░在░線░閱░讀░
before Christmas 2011, a video featuring a four-year-old girl named Riley went viral. Riley paces in a
toy store, upset because companies are trying to “trick the girls into buying the pink stuff instead of
stuff that boys want to buy, right?” Right. As Riley reasons, “Some girls like superheroes, some girls
like princesses. Some boys like superheroes, some boys like princesses. So why do all the girls have to
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buy pink stuff and all the boys have to buy different color stuff?” It takes a near act of rebellion for
even a four-year-old to break away from society’s expectations. William still has no doll, while Riley
is drowning in a sea of pink. I now play Free to Be … You and Me for my children and hope that if
they ever play it for their children, its message will seem quaint.

The gender stereotypes introduced in childhood are reinforced throughout our lives and become
self-fulfilling prophesies. Most leadership positions are held by men, so women don’t expect to
achieve them, and that becomes one of the reasons they don’t. The same is true with pay. Men
generally earn more than women, so people expect women