partly through his own shy-ness, partly through Durham's, they failed. If he went round, the door was sported, or else there were people inside; should he enter, Durham left when the other guests did. He invited him to meals—he could never come; he offered to lift him again for tennis, but an excuse was made. Even if they met in the court, Durham would affect to have forgotten something and run past him or away. He was surprised their friends did not notice the change, but few undergraduates are observant—they have too much to discover within themselves and it was a don who re-marked that Durham had stopped honeymooning with that Hall person.
He found his opportunity after a debating society to which both belonged. Durham—pleading his Tripos—had sent in his resignation, but had begged that the society might meet in his rooms first, as he wished to take his share of hospitality. This was like him; he hated to be under an obligation to anyone. Maurice went and sat through a tedious evening. When every-one, including the host, surged out into the fresh air, he re-mained, thinking of the first night he had visited that room, and wondering whether the past cannot return.
Durham entered, and did not at once see who it was. Ignoring him utterly, he proceeded to tidy up for the night.
"You're beastly hard," blurted Maurice, "you don't know what it is to have a mind in a mess, and it makes you very hard."
Durham shook his head as one who refuses to listen. He looked so ill that Maurice had a wild desire to catch hold of him.
"You might give me a chance instead of avoiding me—I only want to discuss."
"We've discussed the whole evening."
"I mean theSymposium, like the ancient Greeks."
"Oh Hall, don't be so stupid—you ought to know that to be alone with you hurts me. No, please don't reopen. It's over. It's
over." He went into the other room and began to undress. "For-give this discourtesy, but I simply can't—my nerves are all no-how after three weeks of this."
"So are mine," cried Maurice.
"Poor, poor chap!"
"Durham, I'm in Hell."
"Oh, you'll get out. It's only the Hell of disgust. You've never done anything to be ashamed of, so you don't know what's really Hell."
Maurice gave a cry of pain. It was so unmistakable that Dur-ham, who was about to close the door between them, said, "Very well, 111 discuss if you like. What's the matter? You appear to want to apologize about something. Why? You behave as if I'm annoyed with you. What have you done wrong? You've been thoroughly decent from first to last."
In vain he protested.
"So decent that I mistook your ordinary friendliness. When you were so good to me, above all the afternoon I came up— I thought it was something else. I am more sorry than I can ever say. I had no right to move out of my books and music, which was what I did when I met you. You won't want my apol-ogy any more than anything else I could give, but, Hall, I do make it most sincerely. It is a lasting grief to have insulted you."
His voice was feeble but clear, and his face like a sword. Mau-rice flung useless words about love.
"That's all, I think. Get married quickly and forget."
"Durham, I love you."
He laughed bitterly.
"I do—I have always—"++網+文+檔+下+載+與+在+線+閱+讀+
"Good night, good night."
"I tell you, I do—I came to say it—in your very own way—I have always been like the Greeks and didn't know."
"Expand the statement."
Words deserted him immediately. He could only speak when he was not asked to.
"Hall, don't be grotesque." He raised his hand, for Maurice had exclaimed. "It's like the very decent fellow you are to comfort me, but there are limits; one or two things I can't swallow."
"I'm not grotesque—"
"I shouldn't have said that. So do leave me. I'm thankful it's into your hands I fell. Most men would have reported me to the Dean or the Police."
"Oh, go to Hell, it's all you're fit for," cried Maurice, rushed into the court and heard once more the bang of the outer door. Furious he stood on the bridge in a night