asic rights. I believe that all of us—men and
women alike—should acknowledge good fortune and thank the people who have helped us. No one
accomplishes anything all alone.

But I also know that in order to continue to grow and challenge myself, I have to believe in my own
abilities. I still face situations that I fear are beyond my capabilities. I still have days when I feel like a
fraud. And I still sometimes find myself spoken over and discounted while men sitting next to me are
not. But now I know how to take a deep breath and keep my hand up. I have learned to sit at the table.



























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3

Success and Likeability

OKAY, so all a woman has to do is ignore society’s expectations, be ambitious, sit at the table, work
hard, and then it’s smooth sailing all the way. What could possibly go wrong?

In 2003, Columbia Business School professor Frank Flynn and New York University professor
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Cameron Anderson ran an experiment to test perceptions of men and women in the workplace. They
started with a Harvard Business School case study about a real-life entrepreneur named Heidi Roizen.
The case described how Roizen became a successful venture capitalist by using her “outgoing
personality … and vast personal and professional network [that] included many of the most powerful
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business leaders in the technology sector.” Flynn and Anderson assigned half of the students to read
Heidi’s story and gave the other half the same story with just one difference—they changed the name
“Heidi” to “Howard.”
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Professors Flynn and Anderson then polled the students about their impressions of Heidi or
Howard. The students rated Heidi and Howard as equally competent, which made sense since “their”
accomplishments were completely identical. Yet while students respected both Heidi and Howard,
Howard came across as a more appealing colleague. Heidi, on the other hand, was seen as selfish and
not “the type of person you would want to hire or work for.” The same data with a single difference—
gender—created vastly different impressions.

This experiment supports what research has already clearly shown: success and likeability are
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positively correlated for men and negatively correlated for women . When a man is successful, he is
liked by both men and women. When a woman is successful, people of both genders like her less. This
truth is both shocking and unsurprising: shocking because no one would ever admit to stereotyping on
the basis of gender and unsurprising because clearly we do.

Decades of social science studies have confirmed what the Heidi/Howard case study so blatantly
demonstrates: we evaluate people based on stereotypes (gender, race, nationality, and age, among
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others). Our stereotype of men holds that they are providers, decisive, and driven. Our stereotype of
women holds that they are caregivers, sensitive, and communal. Because we characterize men and
women in opposition to each other, professional achievement and all the traits associated with it get
placed in the male column. By focusing on her career and taking a calculated approach to amassing
power, Heidi violated our stereotypical expectat